How To Pick Up Asian Women When You Don’t Speak The Same Language

This is a contribution from Sebastian Harris, the founder of The Global Seducer Community. He is a dating coach and a travel enthusiast who calls Bangkok his home base. While traveling all over Asia he has taught his honest and authentic way of seducing women to men from Bangkok to Singapore.

Please welcome, Sebastian Harris…

Have you ever tried to flirt with a girl who didn’t speak the same language?

I have. In fact, I spent more than 400 days doing exactly that. I traveled the world, met a lot of incredibly beautiful women and did my best to flirt and to connect with them.

I mean, that’s what it’s all about. The art of flirting is also the art of connecting with other people through verbal and nonverbal communication. Having the ability to flirt with every girl you want gives you the power to feel more confident in your own skin and to lead conversations in the directions you want them to go.

This is something I learned years ago while I meticulously read every book about communication and flirting that I could find.

There’s no doubt that flirting is an art and today I want to show you what you, as the artist, have to do when someone just can’t interpret your painting.

In other words: how do you flirt with someone who doesn’t understand a word you say?

In case you are a travel-enthusiast like me, you’ll sooner or later find yourself in a situation where your mother tongue is quite useless.

I had no problem to flirt with the local girls in Budapest. I also had no problems to connect with the amazingly beautiful women in Belgrade. I had, however, a really hard time when I tried to connect with the women in Thailand.

While some educated Thai women speak reasonable English, the majority doesn’t. I just couldn’t connect with the majority of women. The language barrier was huge and the cultural difference wasn’t helping me either.

Flirting Is An Essential Skill For Connecting With People  

Flirting is the number one skill that you must have in order to connect with people. I learned this the hard way when nobody understood me. However, thanks to my not giving up attitude, I also realized that the art of flirting has nothing in common with the mainstream definition.

Be honest. What do you think of when someone asks you how to flirt? You probably think the same as the dozens of people that I asked this question. You most likely think about using playful and cheeky words to create attraction.

And yes, this is definitely one aspect of flirting, but it’s only the tip of the iceberg. When you are dealing with a person who doesn’t speak the same language, you better reveal the whole iceberg. Otherwise, your flirting attempts will end like the Titanic.

Up to this day I am happy that I revealed the whole iceberg during a conversation I had with a beautiful Thai real estate agent who eventually gave me the apartment for $340 a month instead of $450 a month.

Magic? No, flirting!

I smiled the moment she entered the room and throughout the whole conversation. My handshake was soft but confident. I spoke very slowly and I didn’t stop looking into her eyes. I even payed attention to the way I positioned my feet.  

Flirting In Asia Is Not Like Flirting In The West

Now you might ask yourself why I smiled throughout the whole conversation. I can tell you. I did it because I was flirting in Asia and not in the USA.

In the West you are seen as a weirdo when you smile 24/7, but in Asia this is totally normal. In fact, people think that you are aggressive when you don’t smile. Another very important part of the flirting culture in Asia is that you should avoid overly sexual verbalizations. Asian cultures are far more traditional when it comes to expressing your sexuality.

While a gentle touch on the shoulder and a hug during the conversation are totally normal in the West, this behavior can result in awkward silence when you are flirting with a traditional Asian girl.

Flirting with Asian women is entirely different than flirting with Western women or South American women.

Of course these were only a few examples. The bottom line is that cultural knowledge is the prerequisite for a successful interaction in any country.

Words Are Only One Part Of The Equation

In order to succeed on foreign territory, you have to see flirting as a holistic concept. Nope, knowing a few cheeky pickup lines is not enough. The example I shared with you is the perfect proof for that.

Your words are not your only weapon. Your eyes, your smile, your mimic, your gesture and even the way you place your feet are all parts of your flirting toolbox.

Do you want to appear confident? Then look her into the eyes.

Do you want to appear manly? Then spread your legs a bit and don’t stand there like a ballerina.

Do you want to send out friendly vibes? Then give her a cheeky smile.

Do you want to be seen as the leader? Then speak loud and clear and show her that you are not afraid of being heard.

Do you want to be seen as a mysterious seducer? Then combine a serious look with focused eyes, just like the models in perfume commercials.

There are many ways to flirt that all lead to strong connections and beautiful women smiling at you. However, there is one overall rule of flirting that determines whether or not the ladies will love you.  

The Power Of Flirting Lies In Your Intent

Your words and even your body language don’t mean anything without the right intent. The right intent sets a flirty atmosphere that naturally leads to a strong connection.

The question is: What the heck is your intent?

The even bigger questions is: What is THE RIGHT intent?

Allow me to explain.

Your intent is the energy and the frame with which you enter an interaction.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t start their interactions with the right intent, let alone any intent.  

It usually goes like this:

A guy sees an infield video from some dating coach on YouTube, he thinks that his lines are funny and now he tries to do the same thing.

The result can be disastrous.

You can use as many right words as you want, but when women don’t feel your intent, you’ll sound like a robot to them.

The solution is that you think about your intent, before the interaction.

Are you looking for a girlfriend or a one night stand?

Do you want to get her number or do you want to get her on an instant date?

Are you talking to a forward South American girl or to a reserved Asian girl?

Your intent will vary depending on where you are and what you want to achieve.

But once you use the power of intent, your success rate will go up, no matter if she speaks the same language or not. 

Tripp here…to learn more about Sebastian Harris and his secrets for seducing any girl, check him out at: The Global

  • Brendan Cook

    Hello, my name is Brendan Cook and I am enlisted in a summa program (talented and gifted) kids. As a 6th grader, there is a girl who is also in this program. I have a crush on her and she has shown signs of having a crush on me. I would use the flirting tips, and the ‘what was that like’ question but it is pretty awkward because everyone in the program are friends, so if I got rejected (like my friend in the program who got rejected by a different girl) the news would spread quickly like with my friend. It would also make me the laughing stock of summa.

    Any tips?

    -Brendan Cook

    • Brendan Cook

      I need a way to hint the possibility of a crush but not make it obvious enough for her to tell the rest of summa and embarrass me

    • Tripp Advice is for adults only. You may want to speak to an older friend that you trust. Thanks.