I want to introduce you to a good friend of mine. His name is David de las Morenas. He’s the founder of HowToBeast.com.
It’s a website for men who want to know how to build a shredded and strong body, develop rock-solid confidence, get better with women, build productive daily habits, and become an all-around BEAST.
David knows his stuff when it comes to getting jacked and becoming confident.
And today, he is doing a guest blog post for us. Please welcome, “the beastly gentleman”, David de Las Morenas.
“Communication is 85% non-verbal.”
This popular saying basically describes the fact that the vast majority of communication between 2 people happens outside of the specific words that are said.
Think of it like this:
If you were to look at a basic, word-by-word transcription of a conversation that 2 people had, you would NOT be able to reliably guess at the true nature of their interaction.
Words simply cannot convey things like emotion, self-confidence, mood, feelings, or intent as effectively or efficiently as all of the other, non-verbal factors that go into an interaction… Aka body language.
Body language can mean hundreds of different things. Posture, eye contact, tone of voice, rhythm of speech, physical touch, hand gestures, and physical proximity are just a few examples.
You can say absolutely nothing with your mouth, yet present an extremely attractive – or an extremely sloppy – persona through your non-verbal communication alone.
While talking to an attractive girl, the most experienced player in the world could tell you exactly what to say, through a hidden earpiece, and you could still fail to even get a phone number… If your body language sucks.
Conversely, you could have an inexperienced virgin tell you exactly what to say, and still get a girl to come home with you… If your body language is on point.
Now – at this point – you could take these facts 1 of 2 ways…
1: You could get flustered by the fact that you not only have to say the right things to women, but you also have to say them in the right way.
Or 2: You could get really excited, and realize that if you master body language, it will take loads of pressure off your back, because you no longer need to worry about saying the “perfect” things.
In this article I’ll share 4 easy ways to “hack” your body language and radiate a confident, attractive presence to everyone you talk to.
Focus on incorporating these “hacks” into your life one-at-a-time. Don’t try and do them all at once – this will come off as unnatural, and also probably confuse and fluster you.
1. Powerful Eye Contact
This is my favorite.
Eye contact says so much about how 2 people feel about each other. Solid eye contact can take an innocent, boring conversation and make it extremely sexual in a matter of seconds.
If you know how to hold proper eye contact, it will signal your confidence as a man – and also make the conversation very intimate, very quickly.
So, what is the key to “good” eye contact? Well, they’re 2 main things you want to do:
1. Hold eye contact for just longer than her.
This is important because it shows that you are completely comfortable holding eye contact and not-at-all intimidated by the girl (or guy, for that matter) you’re talking to.
At the same time, you’re calibrating to her comfort level by holding it just slightly longer she does. This shows social intelligence and avoids coming off as “creepy”.
2. Break it to the sides.
A lot of people make the mistake of looking down when they break eye contact. DON’T DO THIS. Looking down shows a lack of confidence and signals weakness and insecurity.
Instead, look to the sides, as if you noticed something behind her. This appears natural and demonstrates social intelligence.
2. Deep Breathing
This “hack” probably has the potential to improve your social confidence the most.
Simply maintain a deep breathing pattern in social situations. Breathe in through your nose, and deep into your belly. You should feel your stomach rise and fall with each breath.
Practice this in private so it’s natural when you’re interacting with a cute girl. Or even consider meditating if you really want to get your breathing in order.
The main 2 benefits of maintain deep breathing are:
1. It relaxes you.
When you’re breathing deeply, you’re far less likely to get anxious or nervous. It simply keeps your heart rate and blood pressure lower.
2. You will speak deeper.
We tend to speak from where we breathe from. If you breathe shallow, “throat” breaths, you probably have a weak, high-pitched voice. If you breathe from your belly, your voice will be full, deep, and masculine.
3. Wrist Touch
Most of you probably know that touching a girl while talking to her has the ability to spike attraction… If done skillfully.
One of the easiest “hacks” to incorporate touching into your skillset is to lightly touch her wrist and make a comment on her watch or bracelet.
Slowly reach out with one of your hands and place it around her wrist. Do it gently. Being slow and gentle is important. You’re not trying to scare her off.
Then just give her a basic compliment, “I really like this watch.”
And finally maintain holding her wrist for a few seconds longer.
Done properly – with solid eye contact – this has the potential to make things sexual, in an under-the-radar type of way.
4. Stay “Open”
The final “hack” is all about posture.
The most common advice we get is to “stand up straight”. I don’t like this. It’s kind of vague and doesn’t really mean anything.
Staying “open” is a far better concept. When I say “stay open” – I’m talking about your chest. Always keep your chest expanded. Do this by holding your shoulder blades back.
NOTE: This does NOT mean to “puff” your chest out. It means lightly “pinching” your shoulder blades back, like your exposing your heart to the world in front of you.
When you do this, you stand tall and avoid hunching forward by default. You also make your shoulders appear wider and your chest bigger – 2 things that women find universally attractive.
I’ll add that implementing a few key exercises into your gym routine will make it to accomplish this posture without having to think about it (check out my article on 3 great exercises for this here).
And there you have it.
Integrate these 4 “hacks” into your day-to-day conversations and I guarantee you will come off as a far more confident, attractive man.