Most people fail to realize that reading is the first step to getting better at anything you want in life. In fact, reading a book was the first real action I took on my path to becoming better with women.
Absorbing words on a page (or screen) can make you think in different ways and almost instantly make you a new person…if you make an effort to consciously do so.
The biggest problem I’ve found when people read non-fiction books is that they don’t take the material very seriously and therefore don’t make massive improvements.
Instead of reading as a form of study, they read books as entertainment.
Reading non-fiction without being actively engaged provides what I call “fantasy learning.” It’s a type of passive learning where people read and get excited about the idea of making a change, yet don’t take any action.
I was like this for a long time. I read book after book without any real plan of action.
“Yeah, that seems good in theory. On to the next one.”
Sure, I would make small incremental changes because the knowledge in the books didn’t just fall out of my brain.
The problem was that I never took them seriously enough to the point where I was making radical changes.
Well, over the years I figured out that the best way to read books was to actually put the material I was reading into action.
Today, I’m going to teach you what I learned about reading, and the 5 best books for the up-and-coming ladies’ man.
WARNING: You may have the impulse to skip this part and scroll down to my recommendations. But if you want real and lasting results, I urge you not to skip any part of this article.
Here’s How To Get The Most Out Of The Books You Read
I’m going to outline the best way to soak up knowledge from any book you read, so that my recommendations will help you date more of the women you desire.
Remember, the books I recommend below are great resources. But just like attending an inspirational speech by a professional bodybuilder won’t automatically give you huge biceps, reading without a plan won’t turn you into Casanova.
Step 1 – Read 1 book at a time
What inhibits your learning process is reading too many books at one time. Jumping between too many topics is the same as channel surfing or mindlessly browsing the Internet, and that’s not what we’re trying to replicate.
Pick one book out of the following list and don’t start another until you finish it.
Once you have identified the book you want to read, check out the entire table of contents to get a good idea of what the book is going to be about.
Reading the table of contents will help you see the big picture, so you can connect the dots as you dig into the book. The table of contents should NOT be used to just skim through the book and read a couple chapters here and there.
Step 2 – Read at the same time every day
This will help create the habit of reading, which will help you finish a book much faster. By making reading a habit, you will stop coming up with excuses to avoid reading.
Step 3 – Gather your tools
In order to read a book properly, you will need a highlighter, notebook, and a pen.
In the notebook, I want you to write out 3 different sections. Each section will encompass one third of the notebook. Call the first section “Highlights,” the second “Action Items,” and the third “Summary.”
Step 4 – Do these 2 things with each chapter
First, you’re going to highlight any points that trigger an “Aha!” moment, and any other parts you feel are important.
You can do this with an actual highlighter—which I recommend—or on your reading device.
Second, you will write out and start making a list of any “action items” that come up from the book in the second section of your notebook.
For example, if you are reading a book on how to talk to girls, and it discusses using a great way to transition to a more sexual conversation, you will write down that action step on the pad of paper.
Note: Not every book has a ton of action steps. Some are based on theory and don’t have any actionable items. That’s not a problem. Do the best you can to find any action steps, and if you can’t, just continue on.
Step 5 – Write down your highlights
This will help you retain the most important information that you’ve just read. Don’t skip this step—as much as you tell yourself you can just as easily look through the book at your original highlights, it’s not the same as writing them down.
Step 6 – Make a summary of each chapter
A good trick here is to write it as if you were trying to explain it to your friend. This will further help you retain the information from this chapter.
Research shows that people who write a summary remember 50% more material over the long term than those who don’t.
Step 7 – Refresh your memory
The next day, re-read the 3 sections that you wrote to refresh your memory from the previous chapters. This will put you in the right mindset to continue with that day’s reading.
Step 8 – Re-read your key takeaways
Once you finish the book, you will have a whole notebook with summaries of each chapter, plus your highlighted takeaways. Re-read all of those in full.
Step 9 – Create your to-do list
At this point, you’re going to have a full list of action items. Put those in chronological order (which it may be already) because this is your new to-do list. Take action on each of the items ASAP to start making progress and changes in your life.
Step 10 – Read your summaries monthly
Every month or so, come back to your summaries and re-read them to retain the best information from the book you read.
It seems like a lot of steps, I know.
But what’s the alternative? You lazily skim through an otherwise life-changing book and don’t take any action because its advice simply failed to take root in your brain.
Do you remember the last non-fiction book you read?
How much can you remember from it?
Imagine how much you will remember from a book if you do all the steps I talked about.
When you start taking action on the material, you will succeed much faster because you will know exactly what to do to get RESULTS.
You’re taking theory—really, even practical advice in a book is still “theory” if you haven’t put it to use—and creating real, tangible changes.
Here Are My Top 5 Books Recommendations For Getting Better With Women And Dating
1. “The Way Of The Superior Man” by David Deida
In “The Way of the Superior Man,” Deida talks about how we need to fulfill our inner needs as a man first, and then go out into the world to get what we want, rather than the other way around—as most men are doing.
He teaches how to be an authentic man first, what women are really wanting in a man, and how to attain this authenticity for both you and the women you seek.
After reading Deida’s book, you’ll learn how to view the challenges of life, work, and women in a whole new way.
2. “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary D. Chapman
In this book The 5 Love Languages, Chapman outlines five ways to express and experience love. He calls them “love languages.”
Your love language is the way that you most feel loved and cared for.
The main idea behind this book is that just as people have unique personality preferences, they also have unique preferences for what they find satisfying and motivating when it comes to love.
Besides understanding yourself, you’ll also learn how to better communicate with girls because you’ll know how they prefer to receive love as well.
3. “Models” by Mark Manson
Models gives you an understanding of the basics of how attraction works and lays out a roadmap for improving lifestyle and communication skills.
Mark gives theory and then practical guidelines. It’s very authentic and comes back to the undeniable truth that you have to develop yourself as a man in order to attract quality women.
This book will help you learn how to attract women in an authentic way instead of being a “pick-up artist”.
4. “A Billion Wicked Thoughts” by Ogi Ogas & Sai Gaddam
This is one of my absolute favorites! A Billion Wicked Thoughts uses data from the internet to draw conclusions about human sexuality.
Ogas and Gaddam explain how men and women are completely different sexual creatures. They explain how men respond to visual cues, and how women respond to psychological cues.
You’ll learn how to understand women better and what they desire so you can learn how to attract them more easily.
5. “Revolutionary Sex” by Alex Allman
The best part of Revolutionary Sex is that it settles a lot of myths and misunderstandings about sex.
The first part of the book takes on questions and issues that someone new to sex could encounter—from getting over nervousness and issues of not getting an erection, to some of the basic (but extremely common) errors that men make today.
And more importantly, all of that information is practical and grounded in reality.
Go ahead and check out some (or all) of these books, and be sure to use the steps I outlined for getting the practical use out of them.
What are your thoughts on these books?
Have you read them?
Do YOU have any other book recommendations for me? I’m always on the lookout for great reads. Go ahead and write them in the comments below.
If you have any questions for me regarding books and learning from them, ask them below too and I’ll jump on in the comment section.